Talking with others who had lost a child. Just connecting with people who’ve been through the same road of grief. When they validate your own feelings. Hundreds of cards and letters and words of support came from members of our community, friends, strangers, and even folks from across the globe. Knowing so many people cared and were standing beside us, gave us an overwhelming feeling of support which helped us get through the hardest time in our lives.
Mother of Jacob
Jesus Christ helped me in my hardest moment of grief. I remember being on my knees daily just begging Him to take the pain away and help me through this horrible time in my life. I began to read the bible and noticed that when I prayed to God, He would then talk back to me in His Word. So, I finally felt like I was really communicating with God. I can’t make it through this pain without the power of Almighty God. Nothing anyone did or said helped me or made me feel any better. It was not until I started forcing myself to understand where Cheyenne went and who had her that I began to feel comfort. The more I learned about heaven, the more joy entered back into my life.
Mother of Cheyenne
Making her website and making websites for other grieving mothers helped the most in my healing process. I also wrote in a journal to her after her death. I look back now and can still feel the pain I felt as I wrote the things I did. I also see how far I’ve come. But now if I have a hard wave, I just want to go to my room, curl up, cry and be left alone.
Mother of Mikalya
What helped us in our hardest moment of grief was our Religion, our family and each other. Talking about Tyanna and what happened and being able to cry whenever we needed. It has been almost seven years and every now and then I still need to have a good cry. My husband and I grieve differently, but he never complains about me and my Tyanna moments (as we call them). He understands when I need my space or to just have him sit and hold me when I need to cry. The other thing that my husband and I had to worry about was our two other children. Tyanna had two siblings, a brother who was four years old and a sister who was three years old when she passed away. My husband and I needed to be strong for them as well as for each other. Unfortunately for them, I found out that they will grief differently and longer than adults do. As they get other they understand more and feel more, therefore they feel the pain all over again at different times in their lives.
Mother of Tyanna Lyra Parker – 6 1/2 when she died in November 2000
My relationship with God. When I wake up feeling as though it’s going to be a bad day, I ask God to carry me and give me strength to make it through the day. I’m not sure I have experienced any one day that was so much worse than the others, but on my bad days I literally talk to God all day and call me crazy, but I call out to Cylis, ask him make his presence known and he usually sends me little signs that he is there. When Cylis was in the hospital and I gave my FULL trust and faith to him and I never want it back. He can carry me as long as I am living and that is fine with me. The other thing that really helps me, is that I sit and picture how happy Cylis is and much fun he must be having. Picturing his happiness in return gives me happiness.
Mother of Cylis Taylor
I would have to answer that two things helped me the most. One, having a supportive and loving husband who traveled the path with me rather than leaving me alone in my grief. We shared it together as much as we could, and turned to others in our family when either of us was too overwhelmed to help the other. The second thing is hope. I’ve been through a lot in my life, and this was by far the worst and most nightmarish experience of them all. But somewhere deep within me is a belief that if you can weather the troubles of life, you will find your greatest happiness. It is not easy. There is no Pollyanna answer. But if you can do it, and do it with an open heart -without growing bitter…you will find the light at the end of that tunnel. So I strive to hold onto hope.
Mother of Kaeli
I hate to say this, but it was alcohol. I fell into a very bad period of abuse for awhile. Luckily that’s over with now, and the thing that helps me through now, is watching the last video I have of Brooke, the Christmas before she died. We had a wonderful day, and I’ll never forget it.
Grandmother of Brooke
I wrote in a journal. Every time I had a new memory pop into my head, I wrote it down in detail with full description and quotations even. I think I was afraid I would forget them.. I haven’t forgotten a detail of Nicky’s short time with us. However, I have it written down just in case Alzheimer’s sets in or something. In addition, my older boys also appreciate it. I think my baby girl, who will never know her brother will also appreciate his life in detail written down for later.
Mother of Nicky